Romancing the Reaper

Romancing the Reaper

By Alicia Anspaugh

Even death can’t keep a determined reaper from love—but breaking the rules of the afterlife comes with a price.

“Oh my god!”

Jim put his hand over his face. He knew he had done wrong.

“You can’t just do this!”

“I know… I KNOW!”

“How many times, Jim?!”

“Weeelllll……” he trailed off.

“HOW MANY?!”

“Well, there was the mix-up at the hospital, and the one with the blood pressure… the one where her heart stopped… the one where she fainted… the one where her meds got mixed up… the one where—”

I held up my hand and turned my head away. “Enough! I’ve heard enough!”

“You don’t understand. She’s amazing… she’s different. And she actually likes me, Bob!” Jim sounded so hopeful and naive. I bet he thought that the strippers really liked him too. I rubbed my forehead. As an etheric being, I didn’t have a forehead—or a head to have the tension headache that was growing behind my eyes—and I didn’t have eyes, in truth. But this latest stunt was a doozy!

Now mind you, most times since we started recruiting our reapers from the souls that were passing on—due to high birth rates and climbing death tolls—the newer reapers had some issues letting go of their human mindset. Hey, I get it. Corporeals gonna corp and all that. But every once in a while we got souls whose behavior went beyond the bounds of new recruititis.

The last one decided to make their pre-death dog and grandmother immortal… without the thought of decomposition. That had been an ugly sight. And I’ve seen a few, having been around since creation.

But this was ridiculous, and Jim was not a new recruit! He had been with us long enough to be mentoring other recruits, for light’s sake!

And now he goes and does something like THIS!

“Jim, you are a reaper—a guide to help souls cross the spiritual expanse to their place of judgment. You are a guide… you are no longer human, Jim. This just cannot happen.”

Jim’s face took on the stubborn cast of someone who is blind to any input on a situation.

I sighed heavily. I really didn’t want to have to revoke Jim’s status… he was a wonderful reaper. Kind, caring, endlessly patient. He would listen to his charges as long as they needed… sometimes the entire way across the expanse. He was truly a miracle, which is why he had been recruited for the program.

“Uh, excuse me? Mr. …Angel?”

A perky feminine voice appeared in the space between Jim and me.

I looked down as the soul orb resolved itself into a diminutive woman in her later years. She was pixie-like, and I could tell that she was a happy soul—the type that would bounce rather than break through life’s hardships. Ahh, these were always nice to see. And she looked to be connected to this realm as well. A gateway soul!

Well, that IS interesting. They did a great deal of good work helping people resolve so much in regards to loved ones passing in the corporeal realm.

Hmm… what is she doing here?

I did a quick check of the records and didn’t see her name yet. She still had a bevy of souls to put to rest both here and in her realm.

Hmm…

I rubbed my chin in suspicion.

Oh no… don’t tell me!

THIS is the soul in question.

I gave her a measured look. “Yes, miss.”

She gave a bright laugh. “It’s been a while since I got called miss! Thank you! But I wanted to say that I’m ready to go… it’s my time, right? So I don’t want to interrupt you, but I’d like to get to where I’m going sooner rather than later, if it’s all the same to you. I can wait, of course, but… if possible, I need to head out. Can Jim take me now?”

She blinked bright eyes up at me and gave me a smile.

Mm-hmm.

I could see now why poor Jim was in trouble. This one had quite a bit of charm.

“My apologies, ma’am. We have you set to return to the mortal plane. Jim and I were just discussing that very subject.” I gave Jim a pointed look.

He cringed a bit.

She blinked at me. “Oh… well then… are you sure?”

She looked as if the idea hadn’t even occurred to her but was attached to neither outcome.

Inclining my head, I said, “Very.”

She nodded. “Okay, then. Well then, can Jim be the one to come get me when my time is up?”

She looked at him slightly, and I saw her glow faintly.

Huh.

So it was true… she DID like him.

Quite a bit, it would seem.

Well then.

Hmm.

Jim used both hands to remove his hood. It would reveal the face he had worn in his last mortal incarnation. We used it sometimes when souls became skittish about the crossing.

“Hmmm, so that’s what you looked like… I wouldn’t have guessed,” I nodded.

Under the hood lay coal-black hair, almond-shaped eyes, and angular cheekbones… features that would grow more defined with age. Jim’s eyes held an intense, expressive gaze, and they also held the warmth and affection that I had seen in many souls that passed away together.

The tiny little woman in purple sweatpants stared up at Jim’s face with a look that matched his.

It always warmed my heart to see it.

So, it was true.

These two had actually found the soul connection in each other.

Well, alright then.

My job in this matter was simple.

True connections between souls were rare.

Ah well… Jim was due some time off. We could spare him for a heartbeat or so. It would be enough time for him to accompany her back and then escort her here when the appointed time came.

Despite Jim’s behavior… they belonged together.

I cleared my throat twice before they looked at me. I held out my hand and a clipboard and pen were deposited into it. I clicked the pen (this was more for her benefit than anything else).

“Jim Upchurch.”

I clicked my tongue at him and he winced.

I smirked inwardly.

“Due to misconduct and improper handling of the privileges of your position as reaper, you are remanded to 18 years in the mortal world. This should give you enough time to think your mistakes over and reflect on your improper actions… should it not?”

I arched an eyebrow at him for him to get the point.

His eyes went wide. “Yes, sir! I will reflect upon my actions and do better in the future.”

The little woman looked between us, and then her face took on a worried look.

“Oh no, what happened!? Why is he in trouble?”

She looked like she was about to give me what for.

I held back a smile.

“For misuse of his reaper abilities. You have died precisely 13 times… did you never wonder why?”

She looked confused.

Jim’s eyes were silently pleading with me to be silent.

Not a chance.

“Jim was using his given powers to bring you here. Thirteen times.”

She blinked again, and then broke out laughing.

Ahhh, that’s what I wanted to see.

Well then, this was fortuitous indeed.

Good for Jim!

He looked as though he would melt.

“I… I…”

He wrung his hands.

She laid hers over them and smiled up at him.

“You know, you could have just asked me out. I would have said yes, you know.”

A shy, chagrined smile slowly spread across Jim’s features.

“I’m sorry. I just couldn’t stand not seeing you… not getting to talk to you.”

“I missed you too.”

She leaned against him and pressed close.

“Every time that I could, I’d stop by and see you. You didn’t notice me, but I was there. I always heard you.”

She smiled. “I thought you felt awfully familiar.”

I cleared my throat.

“Get going, or I revoke your earthside sentence and send you over to purgatory.”

They both drew back a bit.

Jim bobbed his head, clasped her close, and spread dark wings.

In an instant, they were gone.

I sighed and pulled up the roster of guides to take Jim’s place for his sentence.

Work, work, work.

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